Your Magic Number

Mark my words, the nations car mechanics are involved in collusion. Not of the cost-fixing variety but of the bill total-fixing variety. I'm saying it right here, right now. There is a list. There's a nationwide list with your name on it that says exactly how much you'll cough up during any given visit to an auto mechanic without getting pissed. This list is referenced by your local untrustworthy, colluding mechanic before they call you to tell you what's ailing your vehicle. Doesn't matter how much the repairs are actually worth, all that matters is how much you'll pay.

For me that number is somewhere in the ballpark of $400. How in the world does EVERY mechanic know that I'll cough up an easy $400 to maintain my car but if they even approach the $500-and-over limit I'll react with the same rage as if he'd just spit in my face, sucker punched me in the gut and called my boyhood dog, Minners, a tramp. Seriously. I'm not joking about this. Every time. $400.

You might be sensing that this wound is fresh and you might be right about that. Just three days ago I took my car in for a routine oil change and to pull a trouble code for the check engine light that has been nagging at my peripheral vision for the last four weeks. I also had to get some 30k maintenance and winterization work done. The total: $396 and change. Amazing.

The check engine light then prompted a second visit yesterday. That's two days after the initial oil change visit for those of you that aren't counting. The trouble code was pointing to an oxygen sensor gone bad, so I decided that was harmless enough and shouldn't be too much to fix which was mostly right. Problem was, when they called to tell me exactly what was wrong they decided to throw in the ol' air-filter's-dirty-and-your-drive-and-power-steering-belts-are-worn trick. Total: $400 and some odd dollars. Seriously amazing.

I ended up getting ticked at the guy and asked him why the belts and air filter didn't show up as worn two days ago when they checked them out as part of the oil change. I mean, part of the oil change checklist is to check belts, hoses and the air filter. That's standard. BS response to that. Figures.

Back to my original beef and the moral of this whole episode. Pay attention when you take your car into the shop, 'cause you're on a list that's as unforgiving as a bad case of the Aztec two-step. You need to clear your name of sucker status, or at least whittle your number down to something you're going to be comfortable paying.